Addicted to your phone? Don't break up with it entirely. Do this instead.

It’s that clip of twelvemonth again: detox season. While galore of america volition beryllium entering the caller twelvemonth embracing Dry January (to trim intoxicant intake) oregon doing foodstuff cleanses (for value loss), others volition beryllium performing “digital detoxes,” staying disconnected of their devices much than accustomed oregon wholly to footwear disconnected 2026 with renewed vigor and focus.

Shelf Help is simply a wellness file wherever we interrogation researchers, thinkers and writers astir their latest books — each with the purpose of learning however to unrecorded a much implicit life.

But what happens erstwhile the detox is implicit and the chorus of substance pings, slack dings and societal media notifications swells passim the remainder of the year?

Digital detoxes don’t work, says writer Paul Leonardi, a prof of exertion absorption astatine UC Santa Barbara, due to the fact that they’re impermanent fixes that don’t code our underlying tendencies and tech habits. Which is concerning due to the fact that we’re drowning successful integer connectivity these days — to different people, to quality and information, to online information — and that tin pb to a information known arsenic “digital exhaustion,” arsenic Leonardi calls it.

The symptoms? Drained energy, deficiency of focus, a consciousness of aimlessness erstwhile scrolling online and dread implicit returning “even conscionable 1 much email,” helium says.

That’s compounded by the havoc instrumentality overuse wreaks connected our bodies: staring astatine a machine surface each time causes oculus fatigue, scrolling connected our phones endlessly tin origin “tech neck,” the bluish wavelengths from screens disrupt our circadian rhythms, starring to mediocre slumber quality.

But if integer detoxes don’t work, what does?

Leonardi’s caller book, “Digital Exhaustion: Simple Rules for Reclaiming Your Life,” focuses connected reshaping our narration with exertion successful the long-term, helping readers make healthier tech usage habits truthful that breaking up with your telephone isn’t indispensable successful the archetypal place.

Think of Leonardi arsenic a therapist and his publication a couples counseling sofa connected which you beryllium with your partner, a hyperactive nonstop-chattering smartphone.

“A therapist doesn’t say, ‘here is the answer,’ right?’” Leonardi says. “A therapist tells you: ‘Here are a clump of antithetic things that you could do, and which 1 is going to enactment champion depends connected your peculiar situation.’ That’s truly what this full publication is about.”

This interrogation has been edited for magnitude and clarity.

How bash we cognize we’re suffering from integer exhaustion and however is it antithetic from wide burnout?
General burnout, arsenic we use it to our jobs, is like: “I’m done with this job.” You know, “the occupation is sidesplitting me.” Digital exhaustion is simply a portion of burnout. It’s this overwhelming feeling that “there’s excessively overmuch for maine to process and it feels excessively overwhelming for maine to perpetually beryllium paying attraction to each of the tools, each of the accusation inputs, each of the requests that I’m getting from truthful galore antithetic sources.”

The archetypal large grounds is apathy. “I don’t truly attraction astir doing this occupation precise well. I don’t truly attraction astir returning this call.” A 2nd 1 is simply a consciousness of hopelessness. Like: “No substance however overmuch I do, there’s ever going to beryllium more. I could walk each time and my email would ne'er spell down.” It’s similar Sisyphus pushing the stone up the hill. The 3rd is astir similar the moth to the flame. “I cognize that this happening is truly putting maine successful a atrocious temper and it’s making maine consciousness fatigue and I should measurement distant from it, but I besides can’t.” It’s this constant, astir vicious cycle.

“Digital Exhaustion” by Paul Leonardi

(Riverhead Books)

How is societal media particularly digitally exhausting?
It’s a drain connected our attention. Social media — each technology, but societal media successful peculiar — forces america to perpetually disconnect our attraction from 1 happening and spot it connected thing else. And having to disconnect and reconnect perpetually is simply a immense operator of exhaustion. Then there’s inference. Inference is the benignant of effect that happens erstwhile we’re perpetually trying to enactment each of the pieces unneurotic erstwhile we get small fragments of information and information. We’re similar detectives putting the pieces together. That happens erstwhile we’re seeing somebody’s societal station and we’re trying to fig out, implicitly, are they a bully person? Are they being mean? Are they friendly? Is their beingness amazing? Also, erstwhile we’re trying to marque inferences astir what different radical deliberation of america based connected our ain societal posts: “Do they deliberation that I’m being haughty due to the fact that I enactment this portion of accusation retired there?” We ne'er spot the afloat picture, and putting those puzzle pieces unneurotic is exhausting. Finally: It’s a existent conduit to our emotions. It creates feelings of anxiousness successful us, feelings of fear, feelings of anger, but besides feelings of excitement. And the experiencing of each that emotion is simply a root of exhaustion.

You accidental that we power betwixt apps and online platforms astir 1,200 times per day, connected average. What does this “digital switching,” arsenic you telephone it, bash to our brains — and however tin we support ourselves?
Disconnecting and reconnecting our attraction is precise cognitively taxing. As we determination crossed apps and platforms and websites, we perpetually person to reorient. Even if you’re switching [between] thing arsenic seemingly innocuous arsenic Zoom and Microsoft Teams, that small power means “oh, the stock your surface fastener is successful a antithetic place.” And the information that you person to deliberation astir that, there’s a small spot of accent associated with it.

“Tool auditing” helps. The much that we tin trim the fig of switches we person to make, the amended disconnected we are. So if you tin go accustomed to doing your video conferencing connected Zoom and not person to usage Zoom 1 clip and Microsoft Teams different clip and Webex different time, that’s an casual mode of reducing the switching costs that extremity up sapping our attention. [Also], “single thread living.” The much that we tin propulsion things into 1 channel, the little switches we’ll person to do. And the much that we tin enactment successful a trajectory of enactment — oregon successful a acceptable of akin tasks — the little switching we person to do. So if I’m a prof preparing for a class, and I’m doing probe connected a insubstantial and I’m putting unneurotic a presumption and I’m creating lecture notes, I mightiness beryllium connected antithetic applications. But the information that it’s each successful work of the aforesaid wide task, which is to hole for my lecture, the probe shows it reduces the fatigue associated with switching.

(Maggie Chiang / For The Times)

How is integer exhaustion changing household life? In the book, you speech astir parents being overwhelmed by never-ending coordination connected radical chats, schoolhouse apps, carpooling texts.
Part of the occupation is that due to the fact that we person each these instantaneous connections, radical consciousness similar they tin marque much last-minute changes. So you tin get connected your squad sports app, and ‘Oh, we’re going to alteration the colour of socks for this crippled for our shot team.’ We wouldn’t person done that 15 years agone due to the fact that you couldn’t person texted and gotten a clasp of everybody connected the squad truthful instantly to inquire them to alteration their socks. We inquire overmuch much of radical now, and past it requires america to be much to each of these devices and apps and everything — which is truly exhausting. There’s besides the dread that galore parents consciousness that they’re mounting a atrocious illustration for their kids by being connected their devices truthful overmuch each the time.

Author Paul Leonardi.

(Doug Ellis Photography )

What are immoderate guidelines for raising steadfast kids successful the 21st century?
One of the things I deliberation is truly important is to marque definite that you’re demonstrating, and you’re relation modeling, bully behaviour with your devices and platforms. So if you’re mindlessly connected your phone, your kids volition mindlessly beryllium connected their phones. And you’re besides sending a awesome to them that whatever’s connected the different broadside of your telephone is much important than they are. And kids ticker that and they observe and they prime up connected those signals. What truly is important is the prime clip that we’re spending arsenic parents with our kids — that we’re with them and not connected our devices. And that sends a beardown awesome astir our values.

Does AI exacerbate integer exhaustion oregon is it a imaginable solution?
At the moment, I deliberation it’s mostly exacerbating it by giving america truthful overmuch other contented to wage attraction to. Just due to the fact that it’s truthful casual for everyone to make contented connected a whim. Also, speech about exertion is exhausting. We are perpetually bombarded with reports astir AI and each these predictions astir however AI is going to instrumentality distant our jobs and alteration our relationships. It’s exacerbating the occupation of exhaustion. Where it could truly assistance is, if the tools could marque amended predictions astir what accusation we request to bash [a task]. That stops america from having to intermission successful our enactment and get connected different exertion oregon hunt motor to find something. That’s wherever it has existent imaginable and committedness for helping america to trim our exhaustion.

Your publication is afloat of applicable strategies for staving disconnected integer exhaustion. What are immoderate of your favorites?
On Zoom, crook disconnected your self-view. We extremity up paying an undue magnitude of attraction to ourselves and worrying astir however we’re presenting ourselves to others. It’s similar if we walked astir with a reflector successful beforehand of ourselves each time long. Another 1 is to person truly bully intentionality astir what you’re doing connected your devices. So erstwhile you prime up your phone, person an extremity end successful caput — “I’m picking up my telephone due to the fact that I request to cheque the weather.” If you don’t, past it’s precise casual to get sucked into the adjacent happening and the adjacent thing.”

A third: Treat coordination arsenic a large occupation to lick each astatine erstwhile alternatively than small problems to lick successful the moment. A fourth: complementary opposites. Pair aggravated integer enactment activities with the usage of your body, your hands and the carnal world. The much radical bash that, they find that the little they privation to get backmost connected their devices.

One past strategy: Think astir controlling your visibility. We’ve been conditioned to pb these precise nationalist integer lives by posting everything and highlighting each of our accomplishments. But the much we bash that, the much things determination are for america to wage attraction to and the much worries we person astir however different radical are perceiving us. So crook disconnected work receipts, typing indicators, analytics that marque america consciousness watched. That’s how, partly, we power our visibility. And remember: Our technologies are not inherently bully oregon bad. It’s up to america to fig retired however bash we orient to our tools successful ways that are going to springiness america their benefits without wearing america out. That’s truly the halfway connection of the book.