My Unrequited Love Story with J.F.K., Jr.

His curiosity extended to the universe. One night, astatine a location party, John and I ended up successful the backmost yard, drinking beer. Suddenly helium stood up and gazed astatine the nighttime sky. “Hey,” helium said, “you instrumentality a batch of reli-stu, right? Can I inquire you something? Do you deliberation there’s a God?”

I said I thought it was highly likely.

“My family’s Catholic,” John said. (And that was endearing, too. That helium didn’t presume I knew that.) “It conscionable seems to maine that determination has to beryllium a God. Like, however did we get here? You cognize what I mean?”

There’s a agelong monologue successful “Short Eyes,” wherever the quality of Ice describes his masturbatory fantasies astir the histrion Jane Fonda. At its climax, helium cries retired again and again, “Janey baby! Oh, Janey baby!” The soliloquy was thing of a showstopper astatine each performance. On the nighttime Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis came to spot our play, the histrion playing Ice had an idea. We were crowded unneurotic successful the dressing room, getting acceptable to spell on, erstwhile helium said, “Hey, John, your mom’s present tonight, right? I was thinking. You cognize my monologue, wherever I spell ‘Janey! Janey!’ portion I’m talking astir jerking off? Maybe I could power ‘Janey’ retired for different sanction tonight.”

It took a infinitesimal to descend in. Then John began shaking his head. “No, no, no, no, no,” helium said, to wide amusement.

You couldn’t beryllium astir him without reasoning astir who helium was. Even if you succeeded for a moment, you would soon get a reminder. I retrieve being astatine a large party, with large music, and sweaty bodies packed unneurotic connected the creation floor. At immoderate point, I began to sense, from the flutter of enactment crossed the room, that John was present. (And that was different thing, the mode radical said, “John”—“I conscionable saw John,” “Is John here?” “I was talking to John and . . .”—never specifying which “John” they meant and ne'er needing to.) Turning my head, I saw John’s silhouette against the acold wall. He was dancing, too, though it wasn’t casual for him. No 1 would fto him alone. People kept coming up, girls especially, and helium would little his caput truthful they could outcry successful his ear. (The aforesaid receptor that Jackie Kennedy had whispered in, each those years ago.) As I watched, I realized the opus that was playing was nary different than “Sympathy for the Devil,” by the Rolling Stones. Uh, oh. Here it came. The celebrated lyric. Nothing could halt it now. I watched John as, from the stereo speakers, Mick Jagger’s voice, successful the relation of Lucifer, sang, “I shouted retired / ‘Who killed the Kennedys’ / When aft each / it was you and me.” Did John perceive that? Did helium perceive it and artifact it out? Or had helium stopped noticing things similar that due to the fact that they were everywhere? The lyric came and went, John showed nary reaction, and we each danced on.

My astir intimate brushwood with John happened a fewer months aft the tally of “Short Eyes.” It was the mediate of the night. I was making a postcoital travel to the bath successful an off-campus flat that wasn’t mine. As I inched on the hall, successful boxer shorts, a doorway opened and John stepped out. He was besides successful boxers. It wasn’t his apartment, either. We faced each different successful the darkness. And then, sizing up the situation, John grinned and said, “You dog!”

Me? A dog? And truthful designated not conscionable by anyone but by a Kennedy.

Magnanimously, similar Henry V, helium had included maine successful his set of brothers. A small interaction of John-John successful the night.

He inspired fealty. You person to scope backmost for a feudal word similar that to picture the effect helium had connected people, and particularly men. On the greeting of graduation, I was lasting with John and a radical of guys arsenic we waited, successful our caps and gowns, for the awesome to commencement marching. Someone passed a joint. At that moment, from each direction, photographers appeared. They’d near John unsocial during his clip astatine Brown for the astir part. But they weren’t astir to forgo getting a representation of him connected graduation day. As they streamed toward him with cameras raised, John did thing I’d ne'er seen before. He looked embarrassed. He hung his large handsome head, defenseless against the attack of the paparazzi. All astatine once, arsenic if by instinct, the remainder of america clustered astir him. Turning our backs to the photographers, we dispersed our gowns and tilted our mortarboards to shield our prince from view. I’d ne'er felt thing similar it. The consciousness of duty. Of fidelity. I might’ve been kneeling earlier John and calling out, “My liege!”