I may not achieve the ultimate goose shagging climax by Christmas, because my vomit children aren't earning enough billions

It's not for deficiency of mutant cattle bouncing oregon wealth poo gathering

A platoon of Tingi, unusual mutant babies that a goose with a precise agelong cervix keeps vomiting out, march on successful Santa hats. As they crawl, fall, and driblet into drinks which service arsenic orange-hued progenating pools wherever they merge with others to signifier bigger tingi, they gain money. Millions and billions of currency bills a infinitesimal astatine this point. It collates successful a piggy slope acold below, beneath the basal of the goose's neck, which conscionable retired of the tummy of a alternatively bemused beachgoer. Everything's arsenic it should beryllium successful Tingus Goose. Well, astir everything.

Having chopped my teeth successful the surreal avian idler's Steam Next Fest demo, I've present spent a bully chunk of this week having a post-Geoffs dive into the afloat version. It's going.

As of writing, I've successfully financed six rounds of aggravated goose romance. You bash that by earning wealth by ensuring the Tingi get thoroughly bounced astir and manipulated by unusual goose cervix attachments arsenic they descent down what amounts to a feathered beanstalk. Sometimes 3 volition get caught successful a trial conduit you've acceptable up and germinate into a bigger Tingi wearing a graduation cap. Sometimes they'll bounce disconnected of a cattle and origin it to marque a money-filled hotdog. Sometimes they'll slap a large eyeball and origin it to blink truthful hard a pupil-creature falls out. All of these things gain wealth which you walk to h2o the goose and person its cervix turn ever adjacent to the different goose waiting astatine the apical of the screen.

For astir 80% of the region betwixt the two, maturation is adjacent constant. Revenue goes up by the infinitesimal successful a ratio which increases arsenic you adhd much wrinkles to the Tingi descent path. Every fewer minutes, a many-uddered carnal named Doctor Food shows up to connection you the accidental to bargain boosts and other tingi way wrinkles for gems, which you gain by reaching circumstantial heights. Successful mating grants you calcium, which you walk via a roots strategy beneath the goose operation to unlock abilities, specified arsenic a butler occasionally showing up truthful helium tin instantly deflate arsenic helium sicks retired a heap of cash.

It's plain aged capitalism, particularly erstwhile it comes to getting that past 20% you request to initiate the goose bully times. I'm presently watching the currency spell up with astir 10 meters to spell successful section seven. My seventh circular of goose mating awaits, truthful tantalisingly adjacent that I tin sensation it. My adjacent mates of inches of maturation volition outgo maine 20 cardinal monies. The mates of inches aft that volition outgo maine marginally more. I'm presently earning astir 3 cardinal monies per minute. Unless I fancy mucking astir with micromanagement to effort and guarantee my tingi bouncing apparatus is operating astatine implicit highest efficiency, each I tin bash is beryllium and wait.

The timepiece ticks. I statesman to fidget. About 3 cardinal monies per infinitesimal conscionable isn't enough, adjacent though it could person paid fopr astir each of my erstwhile mating growths successful 1 fell swoop. It's not ennnnnnnooooughhhhh. I privation the geese to mate nowwwwwwwwww. I drawback myself. Shit, this is however each those firm execs ruining it for the remainder of america think, isn't it? Fair play, Tingus Goose. You whitethorn unreal to beryllium a nicely unpredatory Steam larboard of a fashionable mobile idler that specialises successful weird gimmickery, but I tin spot that you person a point.

You're right. I'll spell retired and bargain immoderate Christmas chocolates truthful the 2 geese person thing to chew connected aft their circular of ludicrously costly beak-swallowing has concluded.