I'm 41 with a husband and child. I have too much to lose and won't give up my fight against cancer

It’s been a twelvemonth and a fractional since a signifier 4 crab diagnosis at property 40 rocked my world.  I shared the communicative of my uncommon diagnosis of crab of the appendix last February. 

I americium a woman and parent to a three-year-old miss and person been a writer astatine Fox News for 16 years.  I americium besides portion of that shocking caller cohort of adults under the property of 50 being diagnosed with cancer.  

I person ever considered myself a steadfast and progressive person, truthful my crab diagnosis came arsenic a implicit daze to my family and me.  It was a peculiar shock because conscionable 2 years before, I had received different highly uncommon diagnosis portion I was large with my daughter. What began as dull, continuous abdominal pains successful the summertime of 2023 turned into a precise affectional and challenging crab conflict wrong months. 

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Since my crab diagnosis, I've been connected a journey that has taught maine a batch astir life, religion and my ain carnal and affectional strength.  Often, I question however I volition ever get done this. But past I look astatine my beauteous girl and the reply looks close backmost astatine me.  

Ashley credits feeling steadfast to spending a batch of clip outside. (Courtesy of Ashley Papa)

It's been a twelvemonth and a fractional since my diagnosis.  I consciousness physically and psychologically bully astir days.  By October 2024, I had completed 24 rounds of chemotherapy and decided to question a 2nd sentiment astir my diagnosis and past existent treatment.  An email and telephone telephone later, I recovered myself flying to Houston to conscionable with a squad astatine MD Anderson Cancer Center. A caller program for my attraction was developed that included a precise indispensable country successful February.  I americium inactive recovering from it.  The crab is inactive determination but we person a caller program of attack.  Thank God, I inactive person options. 

Last twelvemonth wasn’t conscionable astir forging done grueling infusions each different week, it was besides astir beingness lessons. 

Here's immoderate of what I've learned.  

I’ve learned that I tin inactive person a beingness portion warring crab and not fto the illness specify maine oregon bushed maine down.  In fact, I’ve had galore people ask me if I was successful remission.  While my lawsuit is simply a superior one, each the worries I had astatine the clip of diagnosis, ne'er came to be. 

I had disquieted I’d suffer my hairsbreadth and beryllium sick astir of the time. That's not been true. Other than my crab (and immoderate microorganism my girl is bringing location from daycare), I consciousness healthy.  

Ashley and her hubby precocious taught their girl however to snowboard truthful that they whitethorn each bask the mountains. (Courtesy of Ashley Papa)

I was disquieted that I would person a agelong betterment successful Texas aft my astir caller country and beryllium separated from my girl for weeks. To my surprise, I was cleared to alert location little than a week aft large abdominal surgery.  I recognition my speedy discharge to my astonishing attraction squad (of course), but besides to maintaining a precise steadfast diet, staying progressive and spending tons of clip outside. My hubby and girl are my 2 guiding lights and I americium grateful for tons of prayers.  I inquire God for spot each greeting and springiness acknowledgment to Him for allowing maine to aftermath up feeling good.

This past twelvemonth of my crab travel wasn’t conscionable astir forging done grueling infusions each different week, it was besides astir beingness lessons. 

I’ve learned to admit the smallest things successful beingness and each the quality that is astir me, to "stop and odor the roses" if you will.  As a family, we are inactive capable to bash conscionable astir everything we would usually bash and possibly adjacent more, knowing that determination is nary crushed to wait.  

Ashley with her hubby and daughter. (Paul Papier)

As a erstwhile competitory fig skater, I inactive find solace successful being connected the ice.  Maybe it is due to the fact that thing has taught maine much astir falling hard than my skating years.  No substance however hard you autumn successful competition, you indispensable get close backmost up, due to the fact that the euphony doesn’t stop, conscionable similar life.         

I absorption much connected the blessings successful my day-to-day life.  Yes, I person cancer, it sucks and it is scary, but being grateful helps support maine from my fears and antagonistic thinking. I deliberation astir each the radical that person travel into my beingness since my diagnosis, particularly those who bushed it and are rays of encouragement. There are besides those who are warring on with maine and those who, unfortunately, have passed away.  I americium blessed and thankful to person superb doctors caring for me, who, contempt appendiceal crab being a uncommon one, are perpetually researching and moving connected treatments.

Ashley credits her speedy betterment from abdominal country to her attraction team, steadfast lifestyle, tons of prayers and her hubby and daughter. (Courtesy of Ashley Papa)

You larn to marque the astir retired of hard situations.  Though my hubby and I painfully miss our girl erstwhile we question to Texas, we cognize she is being spoiled and good taken attraction of by her grandparents.

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She has a champion person astatine her small schoolhouse present and specified caring teachers who keep her engaged and distracted.  Another blessing.  And erstwhile my hubby and I person to spell to Texas it gives america clip to reconnect arsenic a couple.  We present person immoderate favourite spots successful Houston that we similar to spell to when we person escaped clip distant from appointments.  And we ever marque definite to bring location a brace of cowgirl boots oregon a cowgirl chapeau for our daughter.      

While I people interest astir the future, I effort to absorption connected surviving wrong the boundaries of today.  There is simply a batch that is retired of our control, but worrying astir what whitethorn oregon whitethorn ne'er hap doesn’t marque sense.  It conscionable creates wasted accent and anxiety.  I cognize my crab is simply a step-by-step journey, adjacent though it feels similar the ‘Rocky Steps’.  I inactive strive for religion implicit fear.  It’s not easy, but it is important not to fto my fearfulness power my strength.     

While I people interest astir the future, I effort to absorption connected surviving wrong the boundaries of today.  There is simply a batch that is retired of our control, but worrying astir what whitethorn oregon whitethorn ne'er hap doesn’t marque sense. 

Of course, each of this is easier said than done and takes a batch of affectional and carnal spot you don’t recognize you person till you’re faced with specified a challenge.  People support telling maine that "I’m truthful strong" and "I’ve got this" but often I consciousness similar a fraud due to the fact that determination are inactive tons of tears and moments when I privation to smash plates. I person to propulsion backmost against the intrusive thoughts. Of course, I besides person days erstwhile I conscionable privation to laic successful bed, truthful I tin aftermath up from this nightmare. 

Ashley continues to gully spot from her daughter, who she calls her top blessing. (Courtesy of Ashley Papa)

There are times when I privation the days to conscionable alert by but besides consciousness similar clip is going by mode excessively fast. There are times when I look to deficiency patience. Times erstwhile it’s hard to conscionable absorption connected playing "restaurant" with my girl without having crab perpetually connected my mind.

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 I retrieve the archetypal portion of proposal I received erstwhile I was diagnosed with cancer. It is what I would connection to anyone successful my concern who has been recently diagnosed oregon is going done a challenging time.  It came from my brother.  When I told him the quality astir my crab and erstwhile I had gotten done each the "why me's," helium reminded maine that it’s not astir what happens to you but however you grip what happens to you.  Like the celebrated quote, "life is 10% what happens to you and 90% however you respond to it".

I volition proceed to grip my diagnosis arsenic I ever have, arsenic a beingness inconvenience. My program is to support forging ahead, listening to the doctors and surviving beingness arsenic usually arsenic I tin done prayer, gratitude and faith. I volition besides support focusing connected my wellness -- some assemblage and soul. I'll besides support enjoying the outdoors, walks with the dog, penning and music. And, I'll proceed to beryllium a sister, girl and friend.  And astir importantly, I'll ever beryllium a woman and a mother to my precious daughter.