Dungeon Crawler Carl: Matt Dinniman Interview and Exclusive "A Parade of Horribles" Excerpt

If there’s 1 bid that has wholly captured our attraction successful caller years, it’s got to beryllium Matt Dinniman’s Dungeon Crawler Carl stories. And thankfully, there’s a marque caller installment heading our mode precise soon – successful a substance of weeks, successful fact.

Dungeon Crawler Carl: A Parade Of Horribles - Exclusive Excerpt

A Parade of Horribles by Matt Dinniman - Credit: Ace.

There was a large horn, presumably indicating the commencement of the race, and a instrumentality connected the dashboard lit up.

I held my breath, and I deed the gas. The full motortruck lurched. Donut yowled arsenic her claws dug into my shoulder. I had to beryllium truly debased successful the spot to spot retired the beforehand due to the fact that of the goddamned weapon happening connected the roof. Ahead, respective opponents zoomed disconnected astatine the dependable of the horn.

The sheet connected the dash gave a fewer beeps. It was a navigation strategy of immoderate sort. It was a quadrate container with the words Navitron 1000 over it. A representation appeared connected the flat-screen but minimized itself, and past words popped up, speaking successful my caput similar it was an point description, but the words besides spoke retired large into the compartment of the truck.

This was a distinctly female, strangely acquainted dependable I couldn’t place:

Heat fig 1 of seven.

Driver: Carl.

Navigator: The Champion of Nekhebit, Harbinger of Doom, Assassin of the Great and Feral Sekhmet, Princess Donut, She Who Is Foretold to Bring the Gnashing of the Teeth and the Woe of All Who Harbor Hope and Is Known arsenic the Oak Fell to Those Who Dare Utter Her Name.

Distance: 53 kilometers.

Track: Asphalt-paved road. Mostly flat.

Tasks required to complete: Just get to the decorativeness line. Environment: The Caves of the Screeching Death Manatees. Hazards: Not yet discovered, but I’m going to spell retired connected a limb present and suggest the Screeching Death Manatees mightiness beryllium a problem.

Time Limit: 6 hours.

Current ranking: Unknown. Upgrade maine to get real-time ranking updates.

It was pitch-black out. I scrambled to find the headlights. I recovered them and pulled the knob, but thing happened.

“Carl, bash you spot what that happening is calling me!” “Light! I request light,” I yelled.

Donut waved her paw, astir casually, and the full country successful beforehand of america lit up brilliantly with her Torch spell.

Only immoderate of the vehicles up had lights. One—already mode disconnected successful the distance—was intelligibly a musculus car of immoderate sort, but it was either a convertible oregon it had the extortion ripped off. I could spot 2 gangly shapes successful the happening earlier it disappeared. Right down it was a fuzzy, four-legged bearlike carnal that loped astatine breakneck speed. Yet different bug-like carnal skittered, close connected their tail. A minivan that made maine deliberation of Louis rumbled off.

Something jumped implicit america and evaporated into the darkness, melding into the shadows. I didn’t get a bully view, but Donut hissed, “Dog.”

We tore implicit the checkered starting line, passing by what appeared to beryllium a elephantine tumbleweed.

The unusual circular bush conscionable sat there, unmoving successful the mediate of the wide road. The prickly happening was tall—just arsenic gangly arsenic our truck—and it was a circular tangle of weeds and brambles. I did a treble take. Sticking consecutive retired the halfway of the full messiness was the caput of a goddamned unicorn. A unicorn ripped consecutive from a small kid’s Lisa Frank notebook. All I could spot was the head, but it was a achromatic equine with a rainbow-hued mane, which looked arsenic if it had conscionable been brushed. A horn that glittered similar an opalescent seashell roseate from the thing’s head. The caput was astir the size of a regular horse’s head, and it stuck retired the apical halfway of the tumbleweed arsenic if it were wearing the brambles similar a coat. I couldn’t archer what the hellhole I was looking at. The unicorn’s caput appeared mode excessively precocious for it to beryllium lasting connected the ground.

Some benignant of pinkish-red fuzzy rodent sat connected the caput of the unicorn, but I couldn’t archer what it was successful the dark. The unicorn started shouting thing astatine us, but my model was rolled up, and I couldn’t hear.

“I lone saw six opponents,” I called, trying to look into the broadside reflector earlier realizing determination were nary broadside mirrors. “Donut, however galore did you count?”

We knew astatine slightest 1 was down us, assuming the unicorn tumbleweed was an opponent.

“I can’t spot anything!” she shouted.

Ahead, the roadworthy was conscionable a consecutive achromatic road with nary markings. Despite the brightness of Donut’s spell, I couldn’t spot thing connected either broadside but random sickly-looking trees. There was an occasional glitter, implying determination was h2o retired there.

I tried to look astatine my minimap, but I received an error.

Your minimap is disabled portion you are moving.

The GPS did have a map. But it was conscionable a mostly consecutive enactment with nary different features.

“It says we’re expected to beryllium successful a cave,” I said. I could intelligibly spot stars retired the windshield.

The GPS didn’t reply oregon react.

I had the accelerator pressed each the mode down, and we were moving astir 70 miles per hour, which translated to astir 112 kilometers per hour. The dense motortruck didn’t look to privation to accelerate past that. I couldn’t spot anyone successful beforehand of america astatine all. At this rate, we’d deed the decorativeness enactment successful conscionable astir twenty-five minutes if we didn’t stop.

Donut unleashed Mongo into the passenger’s broadside and jumped to his back. The dinosaur screeched successful fearfulness astatine appearing successful specified adjacent quarters. He waved his wings, smacking maine successful the face, causing maine to swerve.

“Careful!” I shouted. Mongo’s process feathers reached each the mode to the backmost of the agelong truck. He fto retired different fearful screech.

“It’s okay, Mongo,” Donut said. “Mommy needs you arsenic a spot truthful I tin look extracurricular for atrocious guys.”

Mongo peeped again, but this clip it had a antithetic tone. I knew that tone.

“Don’t fto Mongo puke connected the dashboard!” I yelled. Mongo puked connected the dashboard.

We hadn’t had a break. We’d gone consecutive from the frantic chaos of the extremity of the ninth level to our lawyers to this without a rest. I had dozens of boxes to open. Achievements to spell over. A instrumentality box. An intolerable deity quest that was astir to travel to a head. Friends to cheque on. War mages to interest about. An Agatha problem.

Lucia Mar, who someway had implicit 100,000 kids successful her head. I didn’t adjacent cognize if she was inactive here.

It was excessively much.

For the moment, I ignored it each and pretended similar I was driving. Just driving and thing more. Not racing for our lives, though adjacent that portion was strangely okay. It was truthful absurdly mean compared to the army-sized fights of the past level that I felt a unusual calm travel implicit me. There was comfortableness successful this straightforward anxiety. This danger—at slightest for the moment—was conscionable betwixt myself and Donut.

Right now, if I made a mistake, I would die. Donut would die. And that’s it.

There was not a happening I could bash astatine this precise infinitesimal that would effect successful the decease of thousands, and I could person cried astatine the alleviation I felt.

But I knew. I knew that feeling was some impermanent and false.

Slam, slam, slam.

No. Don’t deliberation of that.

But however could I not? How galore times present successful conscionable the past 5 minutes had Donut wiped her paw connected something? How hard was I trying to disregard it?

Slam, slam, slam.

Peace to you all, Justice Light had said. How? How?

But past I thought of Katia, yet free. I remembered those who’d taken deals. Of that infinitesimal erstwhile they’d rained streamers and flowers connected maine and Donut, each of america pretending to disregard however overmuch was astatine stake. There was hope. There was escape. And if not, arsenic Justice Light had shown, arsenic each those who’d travel to our assistance connected the erstwhile level had shown,

there was besides the anticipation of vengeance.

But first, we had to past this goddamned tenth floor.

I mentally counted the opponents again. The musculus car. The bear. The bug. The minivan. The dog. The tumbleweed.

I was missing a fewer of them. Nine teams. I didn’t cognize if they’d zoomed retired up of the musculus car, oregon if they’d been similar america and were inactive stuck successful their store erstwhile each this started.

It was already wide we weren’t going to beryllium winning this heat. What had Zev said? First spot got to prime 3 upgrades. Whoever won would instantly person an advantage. We surely couldn’t spend to lose, but from the sounds of it, second-to-last spot would beryllium astir arsenic bad. We couldn’t spend to fto the viewers prime our upgrades, either. The viewers were each dicks.

Something loomed up ahead, but inactive successful the distance. Something dark. I glanced astatine the GPS again, and thing had changed.

“Donut?” I asked.

“I spot it,” she said. “It’s the entranceway to a cave. It’s precise big. I spot movement, but I’m not definite what.”

A caller connection came in. One I instinctually work earlier I could propulsion it away.

PREPOTENTE: Carl, Donut, everyone else, I travel with a warning. Obviously you bash not privation to travel successful past place. But bash not, I repeat, bash not termination oregon different forestall immoderate of your opponents from crossing the decorativeness line. In fact, I suggest you assistance immoderate wayward stragglers should 1 person already fallen.

DONUT: HI, PREPOTENTE! WHAT DID YOU PICK?

PREPOTENTE: I went with the evident choice, and I chose biological. One would person to beryllium an imbecile to person picked mechanical.

I exchanged a sour look with Donut arsenic I gave the different messages a glance. From what I gathered, Zhang—who was with Li Na—was the lone different 1 who’d picked biological. Elle and Imani had picked mechanical. Chris, who had been successful Li Na’s enactment but had seemingly near adjacent the extremity of the erstwhile floor, had besides picked mechanical, arsenic had Louis, Britney, and Bautista, who were each together.

Florin hadn’t yet answered what his prime was, though it sounded similar it was conscionable him and Lucia Mar—who, arsenic predicted, had not taken a deal—which apt meant Lucia had been the 1 to choose. I’d thought that Jurgen was besides successful their party, but helium was someway present paired up with Prepotente.

CARL: What happens if not everybody finishes the race?

PREPOTENTE: While I don’t cognize for definite rather yet, I powerfully judge that the excavation of opponents for each vigor is acceptable successful stone. That means if lone 1 hostile falls during the existent heat, past that volition beryllium fine. However, if 2 oregon much autumn during the heat, determination won’t beryllium capable for the adjacent race. As a result, they volition person to premix and lucifer with different groups that are missing a afloat heat.

I felt cold, and the infinitesimal helium said it, I knew helium was right. For this archetypal race, each 8 of our opponents were NPCs.

CARL: Goddamnit. I deliberation you’re right.

PREPOTENTE: Quite. If you termination much than 1 opponent, past it’s imaginable the adjacent vigor volition person an hostile squad consisting of chap crawlers. By the end, I fearfulness determination volition beryllium aggregate crawler-versus-crawler races, perchance races wherever each the opponents are crawler teams.

ELLE: Well, that’s conscionable fucking peachy.

IMANI: We tin debar this if we support each our opponents alive. Avoid sidesplitting those you’re racing against.

ZHANG: Shit. Guys . . . Na already—

“Carl, ticker out!” Donut called.

Just wrong the rima of the cave, the minivan was connected its side, flaming, blocking the road. A bugbear was crawling distant from the wreckage arsenic different 1 of the vehicles—a bus-sized ladybug—squealed successful symptom arsenic it was dragged disconnected the roadworthy by the biggest manatee I’d ever seen. One of the riders of the bug ran distant from the scene, screaming.

I couldn’t archer what mode of carnal the bug rider was due to the fact that the rider was connected fire. But it didn’t substance due to the fact that a 2nd later, the house-sized manatee crunched down connected the bug, sidesplitting it, and the on-fire carnal had a notification look implicit it for conscionable a 2nd earlier it exploded overmuch the aforesaid mode Waldrip Chris the gremlin had.

Ellis is simply a freelance journalist, based successful the UK, with a emotion of each things books. She besides routinely chairs bookish events up and down the country, getting the scoop from immoderate of the biggest and bestselling authors to support you successful the know.