DAN GAINOR: November's Nuttiest News: An Elvis judge, COP chaos and more media lunacy

Here's your circular up of the 7 wildest stories from past month. Let's get started with the blazing insanity of a clime league successful Brazil and past look astatine six others.

1. COP Chaos

It’s November, and that usually means the eco-loons travel retired of the woodwork. For the past respective years, November has brought the yearly gathering of the Conference of the Parties, oregon COP. This twelvemonth was COP30, held successful Brazil and drafting much than 56,000 delegates and concern representatives from astir the globe. Yep, you made the transportation — that’s a c footprint the size of a tiny city, flying each astir the satellite to protestation … the usage of carbon.

It was acold worse than that. First, there’s the monolithic road they built close done the Amazon to get to the league alternatively of, you know, doing it online. According to the BBC, that meant 8 miles of "a caller four-lane road cutting done tens of thousands of acres of protected Amazon rainforest." 

The road had been projected backmost successful 2012 "but it had repeatedly been shelved due to the fact that of biology concerns."

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Then rooms astatine the lawsuit were truthful costly adjacent immoderate of the delegates balked astatine the cost. (And astir weren’t paying for themselves.) So Brazil brought successful 2 ample cruise ships to location poorer delegates. One of them advertised that it "offers 11 restaurants, 12 bars, 3 swimming pools, and 8 blistery tubs." Life’s pugnacious moving to prevention Mother Earth. That’s not a clime lawsuit — it’s a 56,000-person radical vacation.

2. The less-than-excellent Mr. Burns

We’re talking Ken Burns, sometime historiographer and all-around lefty. Burns is successful the quality for his caller documentary bid connected the Revolutionary War. I’ll permission fact-checking that to existent historians. I’m present to mock Burns for his elitist presumption of agrarian America. Burns was interviewed connected Bulwark’s "How to Fix It" podcast, and helium decided to shill for his paymasters successful formerly nationalist media.

According to Burns, defunding nationalist media volition wounded america successful non-blue America. "It'll wounded mostly agrarian communities — possibly that's their intention. There'll beryllium quality deserts." 

That’s right, folks successful agrarian America indispensable not person things similar the net to find news. He sounds similar helium expects america to beryllium upset due to the fact that we can’t perceive NPR portion sitting successful our outhouse and drinking our moonshine. 

Ken Burns speaks onstage during the New York premiere of PBS’s "The American Revolution," featuring Ken Burns and Tom Hanks, during the 2025 Atlantic Festival connected September 18, 2025, successful New York City. (Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Rural America hardly adjacent notices nationalist media. Those outlets are designed for upscale municipality audiences who are much than 90% liberal. A state lad tin past … without NPR’s ever-left rotation connected the news.

3. A Toast to the Post

Things are changing successful the sentiment conception of The Washington Post. In an effort to scope retired to different voices, the insubstantial launched a caller conception called Ripple. Depending connected your age, that mightiness mean what happens erstwhile you flip a pebble into a pond. Or it could conjure images of the large Redd Foxx playing Fred Sanford successful "Sanford and Son." His preferred portion connected the amusement was a fortified vino called Ripple. For oldsters similar myself, 1 wonders if the different names they considered were Mad Dog, Night Train oregon Thunderbird.

Things are changing successful the sentiment conception of The Washington Post.  (Kevin Carter/Getty Images)

4. Farmers No Longer Dig It

Change, arsenic we learned from President Barack Obama, is often not truthful good. Such is the destiny for the Farmers’ Almanac. The almanac is, well, buying the farm. No, not that almanac, the different 1 — or, arsenic the Associated Press enactment it, "not to beryllium confused with its older, longtime competitor, The Old Farmer’s Almanac successful neighboring New Hampshire." 

Still, this Maine-based almanac has 208 years nether its prodigious belt, and AP says, "it’s believed to beryllium the oldest continually published periodical successful North America." 

The Maine State Capitol successful Augusta. (eyecrave productions via Getty Images)

All that is ending successful 2026 owed to a "chaotic media environment." The unit has thing to beryllium ashamed of. They outlasted much than fractional the newspapers I ever worked for. Chaotic, indeed.

5. Down connected the Farm

And portion we are down connected the farm, let’s speech sheep, followed by goat cuddling. The Washington Post ran a diagnostic connected a husbandman who rescues cheery sheep, nether the memorable headline, "I emotion your sweater. Is it made from cheery sheep wool?" 

According to the Post, "As galore arsenic 1 successful 12 antheral sheep are non-procreative but amusement an — ahem — involvement successful different rams." So the farmer, whose sheep transportation names similar "Marvin Gay," did "a manner hookup with Grindr," appropriately the cheery hookup site. Together, they launched a manner amusement "to beforehand Rainbow Wool." The rubric of the show: "I Wool Survive."

Not to beryllium outdone, USA Today marked Thanksgiving by penning astir "turkey cuddle therapy." "Cuddling turkeys, successful particular," we are told, "can beryllium profound." But don’t you situation interaction a turkey without its permission. "All enactment betwixt guests and animals happens connected the animals' presumption − successful different words, the turkey needs to take me," wrote the author. 

I volition archer you, I cuddled immoderate turkey connected Thanksgiving — on with mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry condiment and pumpkin pie.

A Thanksgiving meal featuring cooked turkey and more. (iStock)

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6. House Hating

The media are bombarding america with well-earned complaints astir however costly beingness is for astir Americans and however hard it is to bargain a house. Leave it to lefty Vox to zig portion the full satellite zags. Vox ran a portion successful November headlined, "Why owning a location is overrated." 

Yeah, gathering equity and having a spot you tin hole up and telephone location — what craziness. What followed was an interrogation with Jerusalem Demsas, editor-in-chief of The Argument, who argues: "Homeownership is overrated." Now, I hold houses don’t ever spell up successful value, but to travel retired against the American Dream is uniquely liberal.

 Yes, houses don’t ever spell up successful value, but to travel retired against the American Dream is uniquely liberal.

7. Hunka Hunka Burnin’ … Law 

Movies that impact quirky judges are much honorable than we privation to admit. A Missouri justice is losing his occupation for wearing an Elvis wig and playing The King during tribunal cases. 

St. Louis Judge Matthew Thornhill "faces a six-month unpaid suspension nether the woody helium reached with the state," according to AP. After that, helium gets 18 much months connected the seat earlier helium steps down, perchance to spell connected tour. (People mag adjacent had photos of him arsenic Elvis.)

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The Commission connected Retirement, Removal and Discipline went aft his emotion for the "King of Rock ‘n’ Roll," noting however helium posed "with unit successful a integrative Elvis wig and sunglasses" and sang from the bench. 

(St. Louis Judge Matthew Thornhill. )

The Elvis-is-everywhere schtick allegedly violated rules connected "order and decorum," contempt 35 letters backing the judge’s character. So the justice was judged and recovered wanting.

On the agleam side, helium mightiness person the makings of a sequel to "My Cousin Vinny."

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