An accidental hero feels no pain in 'Novocaine,' a brutal yet weightless action-comedy

The unwieldy enactment rom-com “Novocaine” makes a convincing statement that its lead, Jack Quaid, tin bash it all: woo the girl, sprout the goon and tickle the audience. The movie itself has a harder time, screwing its 3 genres unneurotic truthful awkwardly that it tends to limp. Directed by Dan Berk and Robert Olsen from a publication by Lars Jacobson, it’s astir a San Diego adjunct slope manager named Nathan Cane (Quaid) with congenital insensitivity to symptom — a uncommon and existent information successful which a idiosyncratic can’t consciousness cuts, burns, bruises and breached bones. All of the supra injuries (and more) hap to Nathan aft his workplace crush Sherry (Amber Midthunder) gets kidnapped by bandits. He’s nary ass-kicking gym rat; he’s simply consenting to instrumentality immoderate punishment to get her back.

How earnestly should we instrumentality this premise? Very, according to the grisly humor splatters, the ham-fisted melodramatic people and the panic successful Midthunder’s eyes. Also, not earnestly astatine all, gauging from the comic alleviation that’s haphazardly bolted onto the plot, specified arsenic a bull played by Matt Walsh who gripes that San Diego’s gone to effect ever since “the Chargers and the Clippers betrayed us.”

Of the torment Quaid endures, his hardest situation is straddling the tone. He’s charmingly chipper portion being shredded to machaca. “It’s fine!” helium insists, arsenic a weapon plunges done his hand. “Good to go!” helium says, carving a slug retired of his limb with a container cutter. Our vicarious shudders travel lone from the dependable design, which gives a horrific squelch to the daze of a medieval mace slamming into Nathan’s back. (“Why?” Nathan sighs with exasperation, arsenic though he’s simply gotten stuck astatine a reddish light.)

The slapstick works, peculiarly erstwhile Quaid does a Chaplin-esque shuffle with an arrow sticking retired of his thigh. But what works amended is the opening act, a kooky but sincere indie romance that lone has a fewer scenes to person america that Nathan’s chemistry with Sherry is worthy putting himself done a nutrient grinder. Nathan looks similar a emblematic bittersweet sack — drab apartment, droopy firm wear, anxious forehead crinkle — with the twist that he’s been raised to beryllium terrified of everything, from scalding himself successful the ablution to accidentally chewing disconnected his ain tongue. (Production decorator Kara Lindstrom establishes a beingness communicative of injuries by sticking tennis balls onto each crisp country of his furniture.) At work, this isolated oddball shows empathy to a cash-strapped widower (Lou Beatty Jr.), impervious that helium astatine slightest feels affectional pain. Still, he’s caught wholly off-guard erstwhile the bureau cutie scalds him with java (no biggie) and past apologetically asks him to luncheon (yikes).

Sherry comes connected truthful strong, we privation her checked for Hollywood’s chronic disease: manic pixie dreamgirl syndrome. To the script’s recognition and Midthunder’s convincing zeal, Sherry has her ain motives for making it work, including a request to instrumentality up for the weak. And we person a question we’re hoping she tin answer: If Nathan can’t consciousness pain, however tin helium consciousness pleasure? When Sherry prods him to instrumentality his archetypal wound of coagulated food, Quaid does for the cherry pastry what his real-life parent Meg Ryan erstwhile did for the pastrami sandwich. His eyes flutter successful ecstasy. He’s successful love.

Even knowing that this ridiculously charming setup volition instrumentality a crisp veer into humor and guts, the melodramatic tonal alteration inactive hits america similar a footwear to the head. Once a trio of robbers (Ray Nicholson, Conrad Kemp and Evan Hengst) barges into Nathan and Sherry’s slope and rapidly and coldly murders 4 people, the movie doesn’t person immoderate much swoon-worthy moments successful it different than Nathan defibrillating himself truthful that helium tin support connected going. Midthunder’s quality gets particularly robbed. She whitethorn arsenic good beryllium John Wick’s puppy.

Co-directors Berk and Olsen walk the remainder of the movie trying to marque a spiritual sequel to Jason Statham’s “Crank,” the eventual whackadoo enactment flick astir an assassin who pumps himself up to enactment live (bested lone by its sequel, “Crank 2: High Voltage”).
Quaid doesn’t person Statham’s biceps, but for my money, helium doesn’t request them. He has the cleanable look for this movie. Lean and rumpled successful antithetic places, he’s half-twerp, half-man. Smartly, the stunt choreography doesn’t presumption its protagonist arsenic a ace fighter. The gasps travel not from his skills, but from what he’s consenting to bash to win: grind solid into his fists, drawback a scorching cast-iron skillet without mitts, plunge his close manus into a heavy fryer until it blisters similar a samosa. There’s an extended squeamish groan when, having seized and fired a boiling gun, it doesn’t hap to him to driblet it. Visually, the unit is changeable successful sickening close-ups. Cartoonish horseplay would person gotten a hardier laugh.

The camera hurls itself into the precocious jinks, slamming itself backmost and distant astatine the aforesaid cadence arsenic Nathan’s concussions. But it’s much amusive watching him instrumentality maltreatment than dole it out. When this sweetheart goes connected the attack, the effect is similar watching a bunny with rabies. You’re conscionable reasoning idiosyncratic should instrumentality the mediocre beloved to the doctor. (Meanwhile, the directors mistakenly deliberation we’ll bask it much successful slow-motion.) Even successful the moments designed for cheers, similar erstwhile Nathan destroys a atrocious guy’s swastika tattoo, you don’t truly privation that agony connected his conscience.

Which is wherefore the champion combat country involves intelligence combat. A tied-up Nathan tricks his executioner into giving him other clip to fig retired an flight by going afloat Br’er Rabbit, pretend-begging the slayer to get his torture implicit with fast. “Not the pliers — please, not the pliers,” helium pleads. Let maine effort that myself. Don’t enactment Quaid successful a romanticist drama — please, not a due romanticist comedy.